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Saturday, December 25, 2004
First among super friends, despite the dismal movie.
Sure, The Thing resembles The Incredible Hulk with a
complexion problem and Inspector Gadget could likely
top Mr. Fantastic in the stretchy department, but who
could resist the Human Torch?
As for his sister, the comely Sue Storm, we never did
figure out exactly what she did aside from going invisible
when the mood struck and conjuring some kinda force field.
She did have better tits than Casper, though.
Figs
A favorite finger food, we find this delectible fruit
growing wild all about the old homestead but must compete
with the jays and wasps every year to get even a taste of
their sweet, round bellies during the peak of ripeness.
Make decent preserves, too.
The Firesign Theater
We were turned on to the bottomless, often inscrutable
works of these album-oriented cult comedians in the midst
of our smoke-infused freshman year at the university.
More than three decades old now, their greatest recordings still
hold up as a hallucinatory amalgum of pop culture's greatest hits.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
With a critical eye on American largess,
this well-respected author captured the spirit
of the Roaring Twenties like no one since
Al Capone and Betty Boop.
Also indirectly proved once and for all that,
apart from being a whiny, demon-spawning pixie,
Mia Farrow certainly rates as one of the most
irritating, over-rated actresses of all time.
Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs
Bluegrass' most dynamic duo, Flatt & Scruggs
bid adieu to boss Bill Monroe's contrary and
abusive behavior and set about bending the
nation's ear.
Ellie Mae's favorite rockers.
Flounder
Bottom-dwelling, grotesque and flat good eatin'.
John Fogerty
With a talent to match his legendary ego, this former CCR frontman
struck out on his own in the early 70s and proved, if not
quite as awe-inspiring without his former bandmates, on
a par with (and living heir to) many of rock's founding fathers
Benjamin Franklin
The only non-President to grace a denimination of American currency,
this almanac-writing, kite-flying, stove-inventing fatboy
remains one of the young nation's most indelible personalities.
Early to bed and early to rise
Makes a man healthy, bifocaled of eye
Freaks
Ground-breaking early frightfest directed by
Dracula helmsman Tod Browning.
Gabba-gabba hey!
Frederick
Our favorite of childhood fables stresses
the importance of non-conformity, lazy poets
and their greater place in society.
What better values to teach a rug rat?
Kinky Friedman
Musician, author and stogie-smoking, county-fried jew,
Friedman remains one of those rare cult personalities
equally adept at offending liberals and conservatives alike.
All together now: "There was a rumor about a tumor..."
